You Might Be From Michigan if...



 ...you define summer as three months of bad sledding.

 ...you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger Outfielder.

 ...you can identify an Ohio accent.

 ...your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of Stroh's and a
    bucket of smelt.

 ...if owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.

 ...if you know someone from "Porch Yearn."

 ...if half the people you know say they are from Detroit, yet you
     don't personally know anyone who actually lives  in Detroit.

 ...if you know how to play euchre.

 ...if the Big Mac is a bridge you drive across.

 ...if you believe "down south" is Toledo.

 ...if you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".

 ...if you drive 75mph on the highway and always pass on the right.

 ...if your kid's Little League baseball game has ever been snowed
    out.

 ...if you know what a pastie is.

 ...if you learned to drive a boat before you learned to ride a
    bicycle.

 ...if you know Mackinac rhymes with Mackinaw.

 ...if you occasionally cheer "Go Lions--and take the Tigers with
    you!"

 ...if the word "thumb" brings to mind a geographical rather than
    anatomical definition.

 ...if you have ever experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same
    week.

 ...if you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.  (Must mean Bob Uker)

 ...if you expect to get Vernor's when you order ginger ale.

 ...if you know that Kalamazoo not only actually exists, but isn't
    too far from Hell.

 ...if your favorite holidays are Thanksgiving, Christmas and the
    opening day of deer season.

 ...if your snowmobile and fishing boat have big-block Chevy engines.


 ...if either your mother or your father disowns you for the week of
    the Michigan-Michigan State game.

 ...if your year has two seasons -- winter and construction.

 ...if you know what a "millage" is.

 ...if travelling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to
    Muskegon.

 ...if the change in your pocket is half Canadian.

 ...if you point at the palm of your right hand when explaining to
    people where you grew up.